Without hesitancy, therefore, let us love our enemies. Let us do good to those who hate us, and let us pray for those who persecute us. St. Augustine.

I sometimes think that the ability to truly love an enemy is beyond the psychological or spiritual capacity of the majority of people. . There are some who over time, reach some kind of “closure” (whatever that may mean) when the come to accept and even forgive (or try to)  the one who has injured them. . Even more rare is a situation in which the one who has been hurt by another lives in a relationship of love with that person, “doing good” and “praying for” him/her. Two former enemies become authentic friends is so rare that it might even make the paper.  Consider for example, Nelson Mandela in South Africa.

There is also very real sociological dynamics at play in these matters. Consider how some families join in their hatred for someone who has harmed a member or how becoming a conscientious objector  during wartime can lead to shunning, imprisonment or even execution. Even at the neighborhood level, little conflicts can blossom into factional fighting. We human seem to need to know “who is on whose side”.

Yet here we have a well-known Christian saint saying unambiguously that loving enemies should become a kind of second nature—we should do so “without hesitancy”. Given the seemingly genetic inclination not to do so, such an orientation can be seen as not only puzzling, but heretical. Yet the teaching of the Christ is unambiguous: there are no “if’s” associated with it.

It gets down to a conversion of the heart. There is nothing magic about conversion; it is essentially a choice to become open to Love as the compass of one’s life and to go through life drawing upon the mysterious universal energy we call ‘love’. It’s similar to the reality that the sun always shines. We can choose to huddle under cover or bask in its rays (cloudy skies notwithstanding!)

Augustine’s quote also can serve as good reminder that love of enemies often involves “doing good” to them. It’s not just about imagining warm fuzzy feelings (while suppressing one’s true feelings and/or satisfying one’s ego). It’s always easy to love from a distance. I can imagine lovingly forgiving another for an injury of some kind, but the real test may come in the form of your response to a request for some kind of (hands on) assistance. How does one respond to someone who has conned you and is asking you to buy some groceries for his starving family?

Let us love the one who offends us since this great God has not ceased to love us even though we have offended Him very much.  Thus the Lord is right in wanting all to pardon the wrongs done to them St. Teresa of Avila

One of the issues that arise from the use of widely used and well-known prayers is that it can lead to a mechanical type of recitation. I know that is the case for me regarding the Lord’s prayer. Though I’ve ‘prayed’ it countless times from a very young age (both in German and English), it’s only recently that I’ve had the realization that there is only one thing that we agree to do in that prayer: forgive. The rest is essentially on God.

The word “forgive’ is derived from two sources: “for” which suggests completely; and give which in this case refers to giving (A good reminder that forgiveness is a gift). It’s hardly a passive kind of word: the ‘forgiver’ exercises some kind of agency. It’s the completely part that may be the hardest. We may say we’ve forgiven, but have we forgotten? An unpaid loan may be forgiven, but when you see the person spending a lot of money on what you consider a luxury, how do you really feel?

Perhaps that is why in the Lord’s prayer, we say “Forgive us” first. Perhaps it is to remind us that we too have things that need forgiving and second, that true forgiveness ultimately has its source in God. Even Jesus’ forgiveness of his executioners is recorded as a referral to His heavenly Father.

Note that St. Teresa uses the word wanting in reference to our need to forgive. It seems she knows the human heart quite well. So maybe the best most of us can do is to be honest and about forgiveness and recognize that wanting may well be the closest we come. After all it’s often the hubris of our egos that gets in the way of true forgiveness and perhaps it all starts with a humbler stance towards life. Yes, talk (to ourselves as well as others) can be cheap, distracting, and inauthentic; however, God knows our hearts and the struggle for forgiveness is worthwhile. In other words, we must trust that God forgives our lack of forgiveness.

Take, O Lord, from our hearts all jealousy, indignation, wrath, and contention and whatsoever may hurt charity and lessen brotherly love. St. Therese of Lisieux

In crime investigations, the investigators always ask if the victim “had any enemies”. I’m not sure how I would answer that question about myself. My initial response would be “Of course not, I get along pretty much with everyone, and no one is lying in wait to harm me”. So when it comes to the injunction to “love your enemies”, I can happily say that because I don’t have any specific enemies, but I try to be at least civil to people I know and meet”.

But St. Therese does not let us off the hook too easily, literally going to “the heart of the matter”. Like a good detective, she probes for truth. So, if we’re jealous of someone’s getting promoted “over us”, that person could easily become an enemy; an object of hatred, or to use the Saint’s word, “wrath”. I suspect most of us, consciously or unconsciously, carry many “enemies”, though our social engagements with them may be superficially cordial. (Enemies are not limited to people you “come to blows” with!)

The inclusion of the more general “contention and whatsoever may hurt charity” suggests that spiritual growth requires us to be attuned to the energy we carry in relation to specific persons, Broadly, we are drawn either towards or away from the other. (Therese’s word for it is  “contention)”. Some would argue that there is kind of middle point in which we feel rather neutral about the other. But is neutrality loving?  It seems that Jesus was not a great fan of neutrality (Rev. 3:16). He was, however, in favour of love!