The more our hearts remember our neighbor, the more they will also recall God. These two loves grow side by side. St. John of the Cross

It is not enough for me to love God, if my neighbor does not love God. St. Vincent de Paul

We must love our neighbor as being made in the image of God as and as an object of His love. St. Vincent de Paul

When I hear of “loving our neighbor” I automatically begin to think in terms of how I could be of assistance to both the people I know and whomever else may need something that I could provide. What these two saints are suggesting goes far beyond that. Am I responsible for my neighbor’s so-called “faith life” or “soul” as well?

I am quite certain that Sts. John and Vincent de Paul are not suggesting that we proselytize or “preach to them”. (I have heard of some soup kitchens that require their guests to listen to a sermon or Bible reading before having their meals)  I think what they are saying is that when something is done out of love, then there is a kind of spillover effect. In a sense then, there is a contagious quality to love. There is a caveat, however.

When it comes to being authentic in our love, people on the receiving end have a pretty good sense of its authenticity or lack of it. Why? Because love is about “connection”. Love is not feeling sorry for another, nor is it giving only from one’s excess, nor is it pretending to ‘like’ another. People generally have a good sense of hypocrisy as when one acts kindly without an underlying love. (never good “soul medicine”!).

Where there is love, there is God. St. Teresa of Kolkata

Charity begins today. Today somebody is suffering, today somebody is on the street, today somebody is hungry. Our work is for today. Yesterday has gone, tomorrow has not yet come—today we have only today to make Jesus known, loved, served, fed, clothed, and sheltered.  St. Teresa of Kolkata

St. Teresa was a modern-day saint known and recognized internationally as Mother Theresa. Even before she died, many referred to her as a living saint, a twentieth century icon of love. People of all religions—or none—recognized her as a holy person, not only for her direct work with the poor and dying of Calcutta but, I believe, for the love her very presence often radiated.

Though she worked with and for the poor, it is probably more accurate to say that she “loved” the poor. Many service organizations, communities, and individuals “do good work” in support of the poor in our communities and around the world, but I would guess that not all of those carrying out their work do so from a place of authentic love. People were (and still are many years after her death) simply “drawn” to her because she personified the truth of who we are as human beings, often awakening to  God’s presence and action  in their lives.

Her second quote (above) can give the impression that Mother Teresa was working to “convert” people to her religion. In reality, she understood that mere words and advocating a certain doctrine rarely touch the heart of people. (As someone once quipped, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one”). She was once quoted as saying “I convert people to be a better Hindu, Catholic, Muslim….”. Why could Mother say this? Because love (both giving and receiving) may be the single-most common element among the world’s religions.

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He alone loves the Creator perfectly who manifests a pure love of his neighbor. St. Bede the Venerable

The Love of Jesus should not be separated from a true love of neighbor. St. Bartolomea Capitanio

God has no need of your money, but the poor have. You give it to the poor and God receives it. St. Augustine

It is to those who have the most need that we ought to show our love more especially. St. Francis de Sales

These four saints are unambiguous: love of God and love of neighbor  are of one piece. St. Francis de Sales even ups the ante: we must be sensitive and appropriately responsive to all who could benefit from our loving care and assistance. His quote may remind us of Jesus’ response to the question of “And who is my neighbor?”

Jesus answers by telling the well-known parable of the “Good Samaritan” (Luke 10: 25-37). It followed a religious studies scholar asking Jesus what he needed to do to inherit eternal life. After being reminded of the two commandments of love, the student asks Jesus to define “neighbor’: Jesus tells of a social outcast, a Samaritan, coming across someone who had been attacked on the road.  While a priest had avoided the wounded man by walking on the other side of the road, the Samaritan stopped  and attended to the victim: binding his wounds, taking him where he would be cared for, and paying expenses for his  care.

Ste Bede’s use of the word “perfectly” can sound daunting.  Anyone who is honest with him/herself will know that to be human is to fall short of the  perfection that is God’s alone. However, when the Greek roots of the word are considered, ‘perfect’ can connote  “wholeness” or “completeness”. From that perspective, the Saint is saying essentially “Don’t fool yourself into believing that you love God if you don’t love your neighbor”.  The word “pure” suggests the absence of any “hidden agendas” or self-serving motives in your acts of love.

St. Augustine’s quote can be seen as a kind of corrective for those whose are tasked with raising money in religious contexts. The Saint states the obvious—God does not need or want your money. So telling people some version of setting aside a certain amount of money “for God” is not only disingenuous, it also reduces the Great Mystery to only earthly dimensions.  Most importantly perhaps is that such strategies help to create a certain “transactional” mindset of one’s relationship with God, rather than one of mutual and unconditional love with “no strings attached”

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If we detect any trace of hatred in our hearts against any man [sic] whatsoever for committing any fault, we are utterly estranged from love for God since love for God absolutely precludes us from hating any man [sic]. St. Maximus the Confessor

St. Maximus sets a high bar. Even a “trace of hatred” gives the lie to a belief that one is a lover of God.  It’s a rather sobering affirmation of Jesus’ emphasis on the essential connection between love of God and love of neighbor.

Perhaps one needs to make a distinction between hatred for some actions or dispositions of another and hatred for that person; one often hears of “hating the sin but not the sinner”. It involves making a subtle distinction requiring a depth of honesty with oneself. In true crime stories, one rarely hears of forgiveness of the person committing a crime that targeted a friend or family member.  It’s not unusual for criminals to be  referred to as “pure evil” or “monsters”, thus  making it much easier to hate without some pangs of conscience.

Once again, a saint is inviting us to see beyond the externals and to affirm that every  person is in their essence a child of God. Whenever we experience hatred in our hearts for a particular person, we violate God’s covenant of love.

It is probably the case that it is much easier to forgive people from a distance. We can hear of a vicious crime across the ocean  and feel compassion, perhaps even for the perpetrator. However, victims and victims’ families typically “demand justice”, which in most cases can be translated as “revenge” (essentially “eye for an eye” thinking). In many cases, those whose lives have been altered by the criminal actions of another find it difficult to forgive and so continue to hate.

It's said that hating another is similar to consuming poison and expecting the other to die from it. Even from a selfish perspective, hate for another only compromises one’s own freedom to live and to love. Perhaps that is why St. Maximus is so categorical in his admonition against hate—you simply cannot hate another while at the same time believe that you are loving God.  By hating another human being, “…you become your own prisoner as you watch yourself sit there wrapped up in a trap of your very own chain of sorrow” (Song by John Prine. Bruised Orange)

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All creatures have the same source as we have. Like us, they derive the life, thought, love and will from the Creator.  Not to hurt our humble brethren is our first duty to them; but to stop there is a complete misapprehension of the intentions of Providence. We have a higher mission. God wishes that we should succor them whenever they require it. St. Francis of Assisi

The implications of this quote (from the Sermon tor the birds—literally) are best understood within the context of Francis’ sense of connection with all of creation; for example, in his well-known Canticle of the Creatures he refers to “Brother sun” and “Sister Death”. So, this most well-known Saint does really mean all of creation.

The inclusiveness of Francis’ vision leads to the logical conclusion of his “succoring” attitude; if we and our world have a common source, then we are “all in this together”. However, Francis was not a pantheist, as he posits a Creator who is simultaneously within and separate from creation. From Francis’ perspective, we humans have what he calls a “higher mission”: to have a transcendent sense of both its uniqueness and connectivity.

Francis understood that there is a difference between doing no harm and proactively doing things that are loving in nature. He calls it a “higher mission”. There is a very real difference between not hurting a homeless person (which most of us would never do, if only because of the penalties) and stopping and engaging them in conversation along with responding to their plea for something to eat. A party to a disintegrating marriage may argue that they have not done anything to deliberately hurt their spouse; nonetheless, I would suspect that it is  likely  that one or both spouses have failed to “succor”, i.e., look after the other out of genuine love rather than for fulfillment of ego  needs: a non-selfish love which gives freely and without expecting recompense.

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What is the mark of love for your neighbor? Not to seek what is for your own benefit, but what is for the benefit of the one loved, both in body and in soul. St. Basil the Great

Here St. Basil reminds us that in “doing” things for our neighbor, it is easy to lose track of “benefitting “a neighbor’s soul. Of course, the term ‘soul’ has many meanings, but I think we could all agree that has something to do with the inner life, that sense of the uniqueness of who we are as a human being. So how does one benefit the soul of another?

It does seem to me that in order to benefit another’s soul, it is important to be open to the other and to seek to know them in their particularity.  Mother Teresa, when ministering to the dying is known for not only tending to their urgent and immediate needs, but also to the spiritual: essentially showing them that they are lovable. It’s that very human compassionate connection—we are all on the same journey of life. I believe it has little to do with what is said, rather it is about the honesty with which one seeks an authentic connection, a sharing of the heart energy of love.

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There is no place for selfishness—and no place for fear! Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands. Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice. St. John-Paul 11

Why would one be afraid “when love makes demands”? I suspect it often has something to do with giving up some of our defenses or uncovering of masks: the lies we tell ourselves and others.  I may like to see myself as someone who is seen as a ‘nice guy’ but if I have to get up in the middle of the night to respond to an aging mother’s distress, I may not be so nice. Perhaps my mask of someone in control may be challenged when I come to realize that I am losing control of my adolescent daughter as she begins to venture out beyond the safety of the home. If I am a young person who is in love’ with someone who is looking for a long term commitment I may be fearful of losing my independence (nicely put as “fear of commitment”) and so the relationship may break down because I fear not having full control (it’s interesting that marriage is sometimes called “wedlock”)

St. John Paul’s is unambiguous in his asserting that love and fear are opposites. We may do well to think of our close relationships and have an honest look at what we are fearful within them. If we want the love to grow, it may call for courage to look into the eyes of those fears and draw upon our inner resources. Remember that the word ‘courage’ derives from the French word for “heart”.

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Blessed that servant who would love their brothers or sisters just as much when they are sick and cannot do anything in return, as when they are well and can. St. Francis of Assisi

Here St. Francis reminds us that authentic love is not “transactional”. If we are honest with ourselves, we may discover that very human tendency to “give as you got”: someone drives you to the airport and so you “owe” her a ride (or equivalent).

I think that the problem is that most of us have a hard time accepting tokens of love: "I don't want to be beholding to anyone.". Why? For many reasons: not accepting one's essential vulnerability as a human being, good old fashioned pride, fear of being obligated to another, and so on. Perhaps it boils down to not valuing oneself, not accepting that as a child of God, you are "worth" enough to receive care and love. As one of of Bob Dylan's songs puts it, "May you always do for others and let others do for you" (Forever Young)