Patient endurance is the perfection of charity. St. Ambrose

Always remember to love your neighbor; always prefer the one who tries your patience. . Bl Mariam Baouardy

These two quotes remind me of my Father. He knew my tendencies towards impatience and so would—for as long as I can remember—gently remind me (in German) that  “One must have patience”. Indeed, he modelled the importance of patience by his being patient with my impatience! A few days before his death in a palliative care facility, he reminded me to be patient with his impending death, which he termed “going into eternity”. Simple yet profound.

Impatient folks are often told “patience is a virtue”. What is it about patience that makes it seem virtuous? Is it because lack of patience can be a sign of selfishness and disrespect for another’s needs in relation to one’s own?.

Accordingly, Blessed Mariam recommends that we “prefer” the neighbor who is making us impatient. Some might understand those words to mean converting one’s “outer” signs of impatience to an inner kind of seething with teeth clenched? No, Mariam is suggesting that we read the signs of our own impatience with another as a kind of barometer of the degree to which we are emitting “loving energy”. Even a habit of finishing others’ sentences or continuously glancing at one’s watch can serve to undermine one’s basic intention to “love your neighbor”..

Because we are enjoined to love our neighbors as ourselves, it may be worthwhile to reflect on one’s patience with oneself. To what extent do you accept your own weakness and fallibility? Do you tend to beat yourself up when you “miss the mark” (the correct definition of “sin”), despite your having worked on a certain weakness?  Is your own agenda too full to take on something that would take more time than your have patience for?

The image of the father in the well-known parable of the “The Prodigal Son” (Luke 15: 11-32) is powerful.  Consider the patience of any parent whose son had left home and squandered his inheritance and later decides to return home and throw himself at their mercy. Yet, we read that  “When he [the son] was a long way off, his father caught sight of him and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son…”  Though not explicitly stated, one can only assume that the father must have been waiting patiently, trusting in the power of love’s fulfilment in the fulness of time.

If the Great Mystery is love, then we can trust in God’s patience with creation and with us in our uniqueness. Note that St. Paul is unambiguous: “Love is patient” (1 Corr. 13) In my now seventy plus years, I have come to believe that we have been created to grow and learn the often-hard lessons of love. As a former teacher, I know that learning always takes time (more for some than others, hence the “art” of teaching) Perhaps our greatest lesson is to become patient with a loving God. After all, we can trust that the God has “all the time in the world”.